Review: The House at the End of the Street

Mopey teen Jennifer Lawrence and her mother Elisabeth Shue have just moved to a new town. They quickly learn that the house next door was the site of a grisly family murder several years ago. Max Thieriot, brother of the crazy young killer, lives there all alone now. The locals are mostly frosty towards him but Lawrence starts up a relationship with the rather shy young man, much to her mother’s worry. Is she overly protective, or is there something sinister going on inside this young man’s mind that will see Lawrence in danger? Have you ever watched a horror film before? And what is going on down in Thieriot’s cellar? Gil Bellows plays the local cop who is somewhat protective of Thieriot.

 

Shot in 2010 and released in 2012, one wonders if this genre piece from director Mark Tonderai (who has a British TV background) would’ve gotten off the shelf at all had Jennifer Lawrence not won an Oscar and starred in a Young Adult Fiction franchise. It’s not an awful film, it’s just the kind of mediocre, neutered, and forgettable stuff that I can’t even bring myself to hate. There’s nothing critics hate more than a film that leaves you wanting to simply type: ‘meh’.

 

Scripted by David Loucka (the underrated comedy “The Dream Team”, the boring sports comedy “Eddie”) from a story apparently written by action director Jonathan Mostow (and the “Terminator 3” director was originally set to direct), the title suggests a horror film remake. Nope, you’re thinking of “The House on Sorority Row”, which was already remade (appallingly) as “Sorority Row”. This one’s all original…it just feels like you’ve seen it a billion times before. Aside from the always welcome Elisabeth Shue (who is genuinely good here) and a well-cast Max Thieriot (who does his best with a clichéd role), the only thing this has going for it is some excellent woodland scenery (giving the film a creepy underbelly it fails to capitalise on) and cinematography by Miroslaw Baszak (George Romero’s “Land of the Dead”), and even that gets occasionally spoiled by the director’s apparent penchant for MTV-ish camera trickery. Actually, I’m being unfair, the music score by Theo Green (the director’s previous “Hush”, not to be confused with the same-named Jessica Lange crapfest) is creepy and ominous, if a tad loud.

 

Outside of “Silver Linings Playbook”, I find Jennifer Lawrence a terrible actress, and that’s no different here, though full credit to her for being able to sing decently, as required at one point. She has been worse (“The Hunger Games” and “X Men: First Class”), but looks completely bored. You’re the one who signed on the dotted line here, sweetie. What bothered me most, though, is her unpleasant demeanour and screen presence here. There’s something off-putting about her. I’m not sure if it was intentional to the character or not (I highly doubt it, though), but there’s an ego on display here. It’s like she or the character thinks she’s hot. In my opinion, she’s not especially attractive or interesting, and has a seriously inexpressive face and a fatal lack of charisma.

 

Meanwhile, by casting TV actors Thieriot (who looks alarmingly like one of my best friends from high school, except Thieriot is attractive enough to play a love interest in a film) and the consistently useless Gil Bellows, and given the teen-based dramatics filtered through a somewhat mystery-oriented plot, the whole thing feels like watching a brooding teen TV drama in the league of “Twisted” or “Pretty Little Liars”, only less compelling and addictive than the latter…which I’ve neither heard of nor watched. I swear (The setup and relationship between Shue and Lawrence, meanwhile, is like “Panic Room” without the panic room…and the rest of that film). I needed more than what feels like a teen soapie with a stalker storyline. ***** SLIGHT SPOILER WARNING ***** The whole dangerous sibling locked in the cellar deal is a horror staple as old as the hills, but even so, it could’ve made for more compelling cinema than this. ***** END SLIGHT SPOILER ***** The climax is right out of 1978 slasher cinema, and the final scene/plot point have their hoary old slasher movie roots too.

 

This is dull and seriously dreary, muted and anaemic. Shue and Thieriot can’t make something out of ‘blah’, I’m afraid. Aside from some really gorgeous shots, there’s not much to see here, folks, certainly no surprises. Oh, and Jennifer. If you’re making a movie purely because you need the money, try not to look like it, OK? It will endear you to the public about as much as claiming that anyone who looks at your stolen/leaked naked pics online is committing a sex crime.

 

Rating: C