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Showing posts from April 27, 2014

Review: London Boulevard

Colin Farrell stars as an ex-con with underworld ties, and said underworld ties are trying to get him reacquainted with them. Farrell tries to resist, however, and lands a gig as a handyman and all-round bodyguard to a famous actress, played by a little-known actress by the name of Keira Knightley (she’s got a bright future ahead of her let me tell you). Apparently the poor lass is in hiding after some kind of meltdown/breakdown living in her mansion with a drugged-out actor companion (David Thewlis) her only company. Well, unless you count the throng of scum-sucking paparazzi outside. Ben Chaplin plays a shifty old acquaintance of Farrell’s whom he helps out on shakedowns from time to time, but swears he will never completely go back into the old ‘business’. Notorious gangster Ray Winstone, however does everything within his mighty power to reel Farrell back in. ‘No’ isn’t a word that this guy is used to hearing. Meanwhile, a romance develops between Farrell and Knightley. Sanjeev Bh…

Review: This is Spinal Tap

As the title suggests, this supposed documentary has documentarian Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner) follow the title British heavy metal band for a 1982 American tour, their apparent comeback, which is plagued by disaster from the very beginning and only gets worse. There’s rhythm guitarist and lead singer David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), petulant moron lead guitarist Nigel Tufnell (Christopher Guest), fabulously moustachioed bassist Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer), and zonked-out keyboardist Viv Savage (David Kaff). The band have also had a disturbingly long line of drummers who don’t seem to last very long on account of death by bizarre misadventure.

I’m not as much of a fan of this 1984 Rob Reiner (“Stand By Me”, “Misery”, “A Few Good Men”) mockumentary as many others out there, but I can’t deny it has some very funny moments and has become quite influential. Fans of Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath (both the Ozzy and Dio incarnations), Status Quo, Motorhead, and/or Jethro Tull will probably g…

Review: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

(Formerly at Epinions.com. I had to transplant this review, because although Disney now have control of the franchise, I’m still frigging angry about this film all these years later)

The following is a letter from a former devoted fan of “Star Wars”. AKA Me. Apologies in advance for the profanity, but it was necessary in getting my points and feelings across. Trust me, it is entirely warranted and justified.

Dear Mr. Lucas, or may I call you George? No I may not? Well, too bad, ‘coz I’m gonna call you Georgie Boy quite a bit.

I have long been a great admirer of your work, especially the “Star Wars” series. In fact, I have grown up loving the original trilogy, even the one with the Ewoks. I love Ewoks. There. I said it. I have also admired your shrewd sense of business, with the “Star Wars” merchandise sales being a credit to that, and you should never be looked down upon for being a smart businessman. I also went along to see the first of your 1997 Special Editions of these films in th…